Love letters from over the Pacific

(Reproduced with permission!)



These are from my girlfriend Chie, sent to me while I was in Canada. If gives some clue to the wonderful fun that is Japanese-English. These are reproduced not to belittle Japanese people trying to speak English - but just because I love Japlish so much.

Besides, my Japanese is mocked regularly. Only this week I confused "stock" (as in "stocks and shares") and "turnip".

"I'm thinking of buying turnips so as to secure my financial future," I said to a man at a bar, who - with splendid Japanese politeness - turned, looked at me, and nodded, "Turnips? Yes, good investment."

Anyway:
[Regarding a wedding she went to:]

However, in the past, the man for whom I had been yearning had attended. I was surprised. He is bride's friend.
He was growing old.
He is 25 years old. However, he looks like 30 years old.
I do not feel the charm in him at all.
Because you are several times more charming !!!!
fu fu fu ha zu ka si i


[Translated litterally as: chuckle-chuckle, I'm so shy.]


Dear Brendan

I did the barbecue yesterday with the relative.
It was done in the garden of my grandpa's house.
There was a child of Uighur there.
The homestay is done to my uncle's house.
He was polite, and very lovely.


Dear Brendan

[On a funeral she attended, and the arrival of younger colleague from work:]

She came with the boyfriend.
It is said by a surrounding person that she have no common sense.
At the today's funeral, she wore clothes that exposed the skin.
I think so oh !!sexy !!
But the attendance was very surprised.
Her clothes invited frowns of disgust.

[Original font size.]


Dear Brendan
I 'm fine.
In Fukuoka, it is still very very very very hot.
My hairstyle is not changed.

By the way, it is an urgent report.
Mail came from Sachie.
[I'm going on a trip with Sachie and friends.]
About the trip to Iki.
[A trip to Iki.]
August 25. August 26. One night stay. Cost 12500 yen.

Does Brendan participate?
Sachie is describing for Brendan to have planned to participate.
She wants the answer by tomorrow.
Sachie invited me to the travel.
However, I put on the yukata [traditional dress] with Senpai [senior colleague from work, in this case a friend too.]
And, it strolls eating the cake in the coffee shop in traditional Japan afterwards. It views the fireworks on that night. Perhaps, I cannot participate in the trip to Iki.
I did not know ..going.. schedule ..Brendan.. trip to Iki. I was going to invite Brendan to fireworks.
However, I am OK. Please give priority to the previous appointment.
I'm wait for your mail.
Chie

Chie's letters were such a regular gift of comedy that I want to continue our correspondence even now I've returned. I liked especially being told that I was "several times" more charming than some other guy she used to fancy, and the frowns of disgust.